Predators, Prey and Other Kinfolk: Growing Up in Polygamy by Dorothy Allred Solomon

Predators, Prey and Other Kinfolk:
Growing Up In Polygamy
Written by Dorothy Allred Solomon

I've only read one other memoir book written about the polygamist lifestyle. It was also written from the perspective of a woman who grew up in one branch/sect of fundamentalist Mormonism. I must admit that I find the subject utterly fascinating. I also have to admit that Solomon's book stood out to me, when it was compared to other books and documentaries on the same subject. Unlike other sources I've seen or read, Solomon did not experience first-hand many of the more commonly heard of abusive acts while growing up in a polygamist community. I am not saying that she didn't suffer from the circumstances of her childhood, and that her suffering was unique unto her, but she avoided some of the more commonly publicized abuses that you hear so much about.

Reading Solomon's account of her life, from childhood to adulthood, opened my eyes to some of the more appealing aspects of the polygamist lifestyle. Her rendition, at times, allowed me to see what about this life could attract so many devout followers. Solomon also pointed out many of the difficulties and hardships that go along with the practice of plural marriage, some known to me already, and others I'd not heard of before her book. But what really drew me into her story was what made her experience different from the one I read about in Elissa Wall's, Stolen Innocence. It was like looking at two sides of the same coin, many of the underlying issues were the same, but seen from dramatically different points of view.

I don't mean to romanticize this way of life. Celestial marriage, plural marriage, or polygamy is filled with many ugly truths, no matter what name it is called for. Many of its followers are drawn into it for all the wrong reasons and commit terrible acts in the name of their faith. Solomon's account reminded me of HBO's blockbuster drama series, Big Love. Both Solomon, and the writers of Big Love, made a point of showcasing the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of polygamy, whereas Wall mainly just wrote about the evils found hiding within the polygamist compounds.

I think that Solomon's book is important. I think she has very eloquently shown how even good people, with the best of intentions, cannot help but cause harm while living the polygamist lifestyle. She has beautifully shown how no amount of love can completely eradicate the abuse and neglect that so easily thrives in this type of environment, and how strongly attractive this way of life can be for predators.

Some Assembly Required, by Anne Lamott & Sam Lamott

Some Assembly Required
Written by Anne Lamott
With Sam Lamott

“Everything was coming together by coming apart . . . It is the most difficult Zen practice to leave people to their destiny, even though it's painful - just loving them, and breathing with them, and distracting them in a sweet way, and laughing with them . . . if something was not my problem, I probably did not have the solution.” ― Anne Lamott, Some Assembly Required

Well I'll be honest, I picked up this book to read off the new release shelf because my best friend just had her first baby and I, understandably, had baby on the brain. The idea of reading the story of someone else's take on this time period sparked my interest. I'd never read any other books by Anne Lamott, although I have since learned that she is an established writer and actually wrote a book about her son's young life after he was born. So this book, Some Assembly Required, was almost like a sequel or Part 2 to her earlier work (Operating Instructions).

I found myself laughing and smiling at Anne's theatrics. She reminded me of myself in a lot of ways, aside from the fact that I'm a staunch atheist and she very obviously has a close relationship with God. But she was funny like me, crazy like me, and a little warped, like me. She had no trouble laughing at her own idiosyncrasies and no trouble admitting to herself when she was being irrational and unreasonable. Sometimes allowing herself to continue on that vein, and other times reining it with the help of those around her.

Something that makes Anne's character so real is her day to day struggles and desire to take the right path. She tries to be humble and kind and generous, but still succumbs occasionally to the selfishness that makes her human. She loves with her whole heart, but can still be petty sometimes. That is what made this such a fantastic story. I think anyone who has had a baby or become a grandparent for the first time can understand the frustration and humility that those roles entail. I may have to take a journey to the past and try out the first book, Operating Instructions, to see if I like it as much as I liked this.